A Crappy Game

Ancient artifacts thought to be early gaming pieces will have to be reclassified after new research which claims they were actually used to wipe bottoms.

The flat, disc-shaped Roman relics have been  in the collection at Fishbourne Roman Palace in Chichester, West Sussex, UK, since  the Sixties.

Up until now museum experts thought the items were used for early games like draughts, but an article in the British Medical  Journal has now proposed that they have a very different function.

'Now they are suddenly engaging items': Dr Robert Symmons, curator of the Fishbourne Roman Palace reserve collection, said he thinks the new 'hilarious' explanation of the disks will help people better relate to them‘Now they are suddenly engaging items’: Dr  Robert  Symmons, curator of the Fishbourne Roman Palace reserve  collection, said he  thinks the new ‘hilarious’ explanation of the disks  will help people better relate to them
How far we've come: These are the ancient Roman artefacts thought to be gaming chips that experts now believe were an early equivalent to toilet paperThese are the ancient Roman  artefacts thought to be gaming chips that experts now believe were an  early  equivalent to toilet paper

It is well publicized that Romans used sponges mounted on sticks and dipped in vinegar as an alternative to toilet paper.

Yet the idea these ceramic discs might also  have been used for such personal hygiene is a revelation.

The broken pieces – known as ‘pessoi’, meaning pebbles – range in size from 1in to 4in in diameter and were  excavated  near to the museum in 1960.

It had been thought that they were  chips  used to play an ancient game, also known as ‘pessoi’,  but  research  published last month in the BMJ drew from classical sources to  present evidence  that they were also used to clean up after going to the toilet.

Noting the ancient Greek proverb  ‘three  stones are enough to wipe one’s a***’, Philippe Charlier,  assistant professor  in forensic medicine at the Raymond Poincaré  University Hospital in Paris,  points to archaeological excavations which have uncovered pessoi inside the pits of Greek and Roman latrines  across the Mediterranean.

In one such dig in Athens, American  archaeologists found a range of such pessoi 1.2-4in in diameter and  0.2-0.8in  thick which, Professor Charlier wrote, were ‘re-cut from old  broken ceramics to give smooth angles that would minimize anal trauma’.

THE FIRST FACEBOOK WALL?

Ancient Roman householders revelled in having graffiti on their walls, especially if an election was coming up, researchers  believe.

Hundreds of political slogans have been found in Pompeii and the walls of the wealthiest voters offered prime advertising space for candidates.

It would have been the Roman equivalent of  posting a Facebook message, hiring an advertising hoarding or sticking a campaign poster in a front window.

Graffiti was commonplace in Pompeii and thousands of messages have been preserved.The discovery of slogans on the walls of the  homes of Pompeii’s riches inhabitants would have meant that homeowners gave  their active approval to whoever scrawled the messages, archaeologist Eeva-Maria  Viitanen said.

‘The facades of the private houses and even  the streetwalks in front of them were controlled and maintained by the owner of  the house, and in that respect, the idea that the wall space could be  appropriated by anyone who wanted to do it seems unlikely,’ she told  LiveScience.

Other evidence from the classical world has  been passed down to us in the form of ceramics painted with representations of  figures using pessoi to clean their buttocks.

According to Professor Charlier’s article,  the Greeks and Romans even inscribed some of their pessoi with the names of  their enemies or others they didn’t like.

Thus everytime they went to the toilet they would literally be wiping their faecal matter on the names of hated individuals.

Examples of such stones have been found by archaeologists bearing the names of such noted historical figures as Socrates, Themisthocles and Pericles, Professor Charlier reported.

Museum curator Dr Rob Symmons said: ‘When pottery like this is excavated it is someone’s job to wash it clean.’

‘So, some poor and unsuspecting archaeologist has probably had the delight of scrubbing some Roman waste off of these pieces.’

‘It is not beyond the realms of possibility that we could still find some further signs of waste or residue.

‘However, these pottery pieces have no  monetary value because we are essentially talking about items once used as  toilet roll.’

‘The pieces had always been catalogued as as  broken gaming pieces but I was never particularly happy with that explanation.’

‘But when the article produced the theory  they were used to wipe people’s bums I thought it was hilarious and it just appealed to me.’

‘I love the idea we’ve had these in the museum for 50 years being largely ignored and now they are suddenly engaging  items you can relate to.’

Ancient: An article in the British Medical Journal by a noted French pathologist said that examples of the stones - known as 'pessoi' - had been unearthed in excavations of latrines across the classical worldAn article in the British Medical Journal by a  noted French pathologist said that examples of the stones – known as ‘pessoi’ – had been unearthed in excavations of latrines across the classical world
Uncomfortable: Study author Philippe Charlier suggests the abrasive texture of the pessoi could have led to skin irritation, mucosal damage, or complications of external haemorrhoidsStudy author Philippe Charlier suggests the abrasive texture of the pessoi could have led to skin irritation, mucosal damage, or complications of external haemorrhoids

Dr Charlier’s research indicates that the use  of such stones would have probably been rather hard on the rear ends of the  ancients, and could have caused a variety of medical issues.

He suggests the abrasive texture of the  pessoi could have led to skin irritation, mucosal damage, or complications of  external haemorrhoids.

He wrote: ‘Maybe this crude and satiric  description by Horace in his 8th epode (1st century BC) — “an a*** at the centre  of dry and old buttocks mimicking that of a defecating cow”— refers to  complications arising from such anal irritation.’

Dr Symmons, who has been at the Fishbourne Roman Palace museum  for seven years, added: ‘We will obviously have to think about re-classifying these objects on our catalogue.

‘But we hope the pieces will make people  smile when they learn what they were used for.

‘They would have probably been quite scratchy  to use and I doubt they would be as comfortable as using toilet roll.

‘But in the Roman era it was that or very  little else.’

Attribution: Damien Gayle

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About thecommonconstitutionalist

Brent is not a scholar. He’s not an author or speaker (yet). He hasn’t published a book nor does he write articles for magazines (yet). He has no advanced literary degree or pedigree (never will). He is just an American who writes and shares what interests him. He cares about the salvation of this country and a return to its Constitutional roots. He believes in God, country and family.
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One Response to A Crappy Game

  1. Bruce says:

    Reblogged this on Stuff That Interests Me and commented:
    Archaeologists like other scientists make assumptions that sometimes turn out to be false. This article is about an assumption that turns out to be rather funny.

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