Obviously written by a Woman
It’s Good to Be a Man!
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don’t care if someone notices your new haircut.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s too “yucky.”
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5,000; tux rental $100.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
You can open all your own jars and bottles.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don’t rob you blind.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
You underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don’t mooch off other’s desserts; you order your own.
You don’t split small salad orders with your buddies – you often order two salads.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyles last for years – no, make that decades.
You don’t have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes equals one color for ALL seasons.
You can “do” your nails with your pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.